God knows what I would do without this blog.. Probably whine day and night to my closest friends. And eventually make them run away for good.. So I come here and emotionally discharge, so then I can pretend I am normal, calm and reasonable.
So today is one of these days I am not myself. Today all I want is to be hugged for hours in deep silence, just feeling secure and loved. Today is six years since my dad died. And I still live trough this day in pretty much same way as then.
We went to visit his grave today.. Snow over one meter, cold and windy.. And now I got bad headache, just like every year, no matter what the weather is like.. But we laughed today.. Even mom did. Wind spilled one of our glasses of our dear national drink rakija over dad's grave.. So my uncle was like ''See? He misses boozing.. Even after six years he still wants a drink n he just spilled all with no time to drink slowly and enjoy..'' Yeah, not some joke alright, but we actually laughed. First time after so so long. Still it didn't change the emptiness I feel inside, each time I think of him.
And in bad need of a hug, I came online to just laugh at silly status updates of my Facebook friends, to hope my best friend will make time and manage to come online, and to just stare at people's pictures randomly.. Creepy I am.. But you have to understand.. I am just a child..
So today is one of these days I am not myself. Today all I want is to be hugged for hours in deep silence, just feeling secure and loved. Today is six years since my dad died. And I still live trough this day in pretty much same way as then.
We went to visit his grave today.. Snow over one meter, cold and windy.. And now I got bad headache, just like every year, no matter what the weather is like.. But we laughed today.. Even mom did. Wind spilled one of our glasses of our dear national drink rakija over dad's grave.. So my uncle was like ''See? He misses boozing.. Even after six years he still wants a drink n he just spilled all with no time to drink slowly and enjoy..'' Yeah, not some joke alright, but we actually laughed. First time after so so long. Still it didn't change the emptiness I feel inside, each time I think of him.
And in bad need of a hug, I came online to just laugh at silly status updates of my Facebook friends, to hope my best friend will make time and manage to come online, and to just stare at people's pictures randomly.. Creepy I am.. But you have to understand.. I am just a child..
Belgrade Time
0 comments:
Post a Comment