And Again..

Ruins and disasters and lies and heartbreaks and you and her and some unspoken words melting in mud puddles.. And myself, trying to sneak away after seeing, hearing, feeling all that..  Slowly moving backwards and counting seconds between each step, trying to make their sounds unnoticed.. And I trip on a long glance you give, fall down with my face hitting your helloes and goodbyes, and I scream, scream, scream... '' Hi dear, I am fine, how are you?''

And you laugh, you laugh and I smile like a child after saying something unplanned and silly so adults laugh at its naiveness, and you pretend you didn't even see me seeing, hearing, feeling all that.. You just saw me falling.. Well played, your life role. Well dressed up, with a perfect make up and sweet and sour scented perfume.. Really well played. And I am all covered in damn mud, feeling naked in front of you, shamefully hiding what I don't want you to see.. My poor stupid heart.. An amateur actress indeed, unable to remember dialogue I rehearsed days prior to the meeting, barely pronouncing my own script. But hey, I am a great script writer..
Hopefully that counts at least..

And I am fighting hard not to swallow my pride, but then I notice I stepped on it all over, so it screams in pain, bleeding its last drops of blood into that disgusting mud, and I feel so bad about it but I just cannot help it any more..

And you generously ignore my fall, with a wide cunning smile, and I am just a tiny soaked rabbit waiting for a hunter to pull the trigger of bunch of senseless, feelings deprived, instantly generated words, to shoot and kill that poor excuse for a soul...

Happy Valentines Day..