Facebook, today all day:
-It's raining again.. And it's really cold outside. That's why I am here all day.
-It's raining again.. And it's really cold outside. That's why I am here all day.
And all the friends I chat with:
-Since when you stay in when it's raining?
Damn it.. All ya guys. I know, I know.. I used to love rain no matter how cold it was outside. Used to walk all day if I had nothing better to do. Like today. Like last month or so. Jobless sucks.
It just feels all my energy, enthusiasm, youth, joy, optimism... went down the drain. My bad, I quit in hope I will get a better one.. And I didn't. So here I am now, 2 weeks away from my final exam, jobless and mindless. And useless. Now that is the worst kind of feeling...
And all of the sudden, le wild mum appears in my room, asking me to go with her for a walk in the rain.. She has day off and wants to enjoy it a little bit. Damn it mum, I currently feel older than your grandmother and might as well admit I look that way too, also very busy feeling sorry for myself turning lazy and ridiculous.
-But hoooneyyyy!!... Sad face.. Childish mum.. Me still unwilling to lift my behind and get outta here..
-Sorry mum.. Some other day.. Am just not in mood right now. Ever. Something.
-Since when you stay in when it's raining?
Damn it.. All ya guys. I know, I know.. I used to love rain no matter how cold it was outside. Used to walk all day if I had nothing better to do. Like today. Like last month or so. Jobless sucks.
It just feels all my energy, enthusiasm, youth, joy, optimism... went down the drain. My bad, I quit in hope I will get a better one.. And I didn't. So here I am now, 2 weeks away from my final exam, jobless and mindless. And useless. Now that is the worst kind of feeling...
And all of the sudden, le wild mum appears in my room, asking me to go with her for a walk in the rain.. She has day off and wants to enjoy it a little bit. Damn it mum, I currently feel older than your grandmother and might as well admit I look that way too, also very busy feeling sorry for myself turning lazy and ridiculous.
-But hoooneyyyy!!... Sad face.. Childish mum.. Me still unwilling to lift my behind and get outta here..
-Sorry mum.. Some other day.. Am just not in mood right now. Ever. Something.
So she walks out and I go back to staring at that one spot at the wall I always abuse when in this state of both body and mind. Which actually doesn't happen that often, but when it happens, it really really hits hard.
I know she is worried now.. hate causing her worry.. But what else can I do? Usually I am the one who lifts up the Fallen ones.. Cheers up all and forces them to get -out -have -fun -smile -and -enjoy. Of course, when I am moody, noone can help. All give up after one try. And I actually like it. Just leave me the way I am and I will fix myself.
I am not waiting for miracle to happen, I am not asking 'Oh God, why all this shit happens to me, why am I this way now, when will all change..'' All will change when I get up and do something. Soon, I hope. I am just not in the right mood at the moment. And my moment might be.. umm.. just tiny bit longer than the regular one.
I know she is worried now.. hate causing her worry.. But what else can I do? Usually I am the one who lifts up the Fallen ones.. Cheers up all and forces them to get -out -have -fun -smile -and -enjoy. Of course, when I am moody, noone can help. All give up after one try. And I actually like it. Just leave me the way I am and I will fix myself.
I am not waiting for miracle to happen, I am not asking 'Oh God, why all this shit happens to me, why am I this way now, when will all change..'' All will change when I get up and do something. Soon, I hope. I am just not in the right mood at the moment. And my moment might be.. umm.. just tiny bit longer than the regular one.
Belgrade Time
