Sleepless night is a girl's best companion. She gets to read, meet new interesting people online or stare at a wall (real wall, room wall, not Facebook one, please) for an entire hour, completely clueless..
Did you know that staring at a wall trough thick darkness, trying to focus on an e.g. painting or a window frame, is by far the best way to get a headache? Well, you know now..
Anyways... So I stare at this wall and after one entire hour or so, appart from the above mentioned headache, I get this wild idea that everything is going to work out just fine in the end for me. So far my life has really been more of a confusing bunch of days, months and years with no purpose at all and no evident goal, but yes, it is just going to be allright in the end. All my dreams so far were more or less realistic, but all failed. All my desires and goals just.. Never happened no matter how hard I tried. And each and every time I actually started thinking '' Oh, Dear Lord, I am finally happy'', that something smiled right behind the next corner with an evil ''GOTCHA!'' all over its... hmm.. I guess face.
But I got this idea, right.
According to an established idea, our life failures were actually sent to test our will power. And who sent them? Well, God of course. Now.. I am not much religious but I do believe in this story.. Up to the point where the purpose of troubles is questioned.
He or She or yes, even Them, could be the Creator of all life and all.. But a hell lot bored Creator with twisted sense of humor. Now, if the Creator sends us these troubles and all.. that's only because he wants to have some fun.. So, no, I don't believe in all the obstacles in my life being a test of my belief and strength. They are the amusement for Heavenly audience. With some serious lack of humor, really.
But I do believe it will all work just fine.
Why? I really don't know. Maybe Gods will get tired of laughing at all the pointless situations I go trough. It will just stop being funny, so they'll go ''Meh... Enough.. Let her go her own way, shes getting boring.''
So I will finally be able to fulfill these few dreams that are left. And shhhhh... be happy... At least for a while...
Did you know that staring at a wall trough thick darkness, trying to focus on an e.g. painting or a window frame, is by far the best way to get a headache? Well, you know now..
Anyways... So I stare at this wall and after one entire hour or so, appart from the above mentioned headache, I get this wild idea that everything is going to work out just fine in the end for me. So far my life has really been more of a confusing bunch of days, months and years with no purpose at all and no evident goal, but yes, it is just going to be allright in the end. All my dreams so far were more or less realistic, but all failed. All my desires and goals just.. Never happened no matter how hard I tried. And each and every time I actually started thinking '' Oh, Dear Lord, I am finally happy'', that something smiled right behind the next corner with an evil ''GOTCHA!'' all over its... hmm.. I guess face.
But I got this idea, right.
According to an established idea, our life failures were actually sent to test our will power. And who sent them? Well, God of course. Now.. I am not much religious but I do believe in this story.. Up to the point where the purpose of troubles is questioned.
He or She or yes, even Them, could be the Creator of all life and all.. But a hell lot bored Creator with twisted sense of humor. Now, if the Creator sends us these troubles and all.. that's only because he wants to have some fun.. So, no, I don't believe in all the obstacles in my life being a test of my belief and strength. They are the amusement for Heavenly audience. With some serious lack of humor, really.
But I do believe it will all work just fine.
Why? I really don't know. Maybe Gods will get tired of laughing at all the pointless situations I go trough. It will just stop being funny, so they'll go ''Meh... Enough.. Let her go her own way, shes getting boring.''
So I will finally be able to fulfill these few dreams that are left. And shhhhh... be happy... At least for a while...
Belgrade Time
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