Losing it

A guy approached me today after work, while I was sitting all alone in this sweet little coffee shop and enjoying a moment of perfect ignorance about the existence of the rest of the world.. I was having my ' Yes I am pissed off and very hurt and need to be left alone and enjoy' coffee, wearing matching face expression, when I caught a glimpse of a.. male human with a huge smile approaching. Never understood why is it that at the very moment you need noone around and very obviously showing it, someone thinks its a perfect moment to flirt with you. He was like ' I couldn't help but notice you are all alone and kinda sad so decided to cheer you up a bit'.

-Wow.. Great observing skills indeed. Shoot. Cheer me up.

Now the charmer was obviously unprepared for my response..I guess I was supposed to smile back and thank him. Of course, it just added up to my already destroyed mood. And my poor hurt ego.

-I was just having a nice conversation here and you interrupted me. And that is very rude. Have a great day.

I got up and left.


Yes, I was having a nice long conversation with myself and honestly, it was already turning into a fight when the dude interrupted it.

Should have actually thanked him. I hate arguing with myself. I always lose.

How do I explain to someone that hurting me is not a sport or that kind of activity you can choose to be your hobbie... Yes, I can understand it can be fun, and if one is really weird, it can actually give so much pleasure, I guess.. But seriously, every day?

I am not human.
Or a friend.
Or a lover.

I am someone whos feelings matter just as much as eating habits of a frog would matter to a mechanic... You get the point.


And is there any place in this town I can just sit all alone with my thoughts without anyone reminding me I am all alone and sad and mad?  I know that all very well...